Jess: Ring of Fire...this song is about STDs.
Ryan: ...my itchy choad...
Kelly: If I was a slutty straight girl, I'd have a map on my wall like in MASK with all the Minneapolis bars on it...and I'd put pins in it when I banged a guy.
Jess: Then if I died young, you could cry and put pins in it saying, "You're going to get laid here...you're going to get laid here..."
Kelly: It's a juicer.
Jess: (writing) J-E-W...?
Best Movie Ever: Ryan in Japan Robster Craw and other hijinx
Kelly: Oh, they lost at the Alamo, so now they're going to play 'Desperado'?
Ryan: We're going to get beat up. They'll find us and no one will know why.
Jess: Our last words will be ...'uhhh..Minutes.'
Kelly: Like Rosebud.
Ryan: The Minutes are our Citizen Cane.
Kelly: He just slapped her on the ass...like she's his palamino.
Upon Sarah C's arrival, Ryan whispers, "She can't read the minutes."
Anton's trivia items:
tea difuser: pacman blow up dog
children toys: hamster butt plugs
wooden twist: syphillis ribbon (partly worn because people with it are crazy and forget thery have it)
Remember the syphillis!
Anton Lavey: TAKE IT!
Kelly's Regis as Buffalo Bill, "Would you fuck me? Cuz I'd fuck me!
Jess's clitoris as a castmember of Jem and the Holograms, "Showtime, Grumble!" (its Synergy!)
Kelly notes that Grumble reads "Joy of Cooking", "It's the only joy she gets."
Ryan: You're ugly; my eyes hurt. You're annoying; my brain hurts.
Jess: Tons of magazines and crap actually suggest spelling out the alphabet when giving oral sex to a woman.
Kelly: Yeah...it's like, "I....I....I...."
Kelly: Maybe Trey is doing graffiti?
Jess: 'Why are you tagging!?'
Ryan: Potato cakes, you, potato cakes.
Grumble is a waitress at Country Kitchen, they have two sneeze guards - one at waist level.
Jess: Heroin is god's chlorine in the gene pool.
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