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Subject:12/28/04 - We're Not Going to Win Anyways
Time:12:16 pm
We totally got 2nd place.
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Subject:11/2 - Our Hanging Chads Have Crabs
Time:09:18 pm
Didn't win, dunno how well we did, but the sammiches were good, Ryan's dance moves were stellar, and fun was had by all.

Kelly: He's singing 'We Are the World!'
Adam: Dan Akroyd is gonna come out.

Trivia Guy: Round four!
Jess: It's round three.
Trivia Guy: Picture round is round three.
Jess: Umm...it SAYS round three. Mister Tally man, Tally me banana.
Trivia Guy: ...ok...round three.

Election banter:
Adam: Don't worry! There are big cities in Ohio that haven't been counted yet. Columbus hasn't been counted...
Kelly: ...do you know someone??? Did Speilberg call you??

Lindsey: Huzzah!

Question: Most popular tourist spot
Jess: The Dells!! Noah's Ark!!
Ryan: Tommy Bartlet's Robot World!!

Vote 'No' on Proposition Teetotal

On big vaginas:
Kelly: It's like playing a triangle!

Ryan: Is this Heavy D?
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Subject:Minutes 10/12 - Equestrine Kryptonite
Time:09:35 am
Jess: How horrible would it be to be held down by Hulk Hogan as Randy Savage...snaps into my slim jim?

Crack don't smoke itself.

Kelly: What can follow Hootie? BUT HOOTIE.

Anton: I invented Racing Stripe. Not Racing Stripes.
Kelly: Racist Stripes?
Anton: What?
Kelly: Because I invented those. I was the first one to put pinstripes on my sheets.

During an arguement about Sheryl Crow's intentions:
Kelly: You're right, I am looking at it through vagina-colored glasses.

While rocking out to 'Girlfriend'
Kelly: We're having a Pebbles moment.
Anton: I shoulda known.

Kelly: You're in the way of the news!
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Current Music:Comin Home - Ozzy
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Subject:LTOP Minutes 5/25 - Combustible Huxtable
Time:10:05 am
In attendance: Sarah Mc, Ryan, Lindsay, Jess

Commentator: Kobe Bryant has not scored...
Jess: That's not what she said!!
Ryan: ...but he did just assrape Sam Cassell.

Jess: Do black men have hair anymore?

On the Subject of Hanson:
Jess: They're names are Taylor and Zach...
Lindsay: No, those are Tool Time kids.

Ryan looks up Doug Henning articles on his internet cell phone:
"...droopily mustachioed diminutive fuzzball..."
"...making an elephant disappear instead of toking up a fatty..."
"...goggle eyed wonderment and gooey narrations..."

Rhebus:
Poorly drawn heand world?
Hello Dolly World?

From Grease's Summer Lovin':
"She got friendly...Son of SAAAAAAM!"

It is a Jerry Jewel World

Kelly is a bitch. There was Sopranos Trivia.

Sarah Mc mocks how /jess is suddenly ghetto when she notes, "I don't know what the white chicks was singin'!"

"Why would anyone want to do that with Mitchell??"

Lindsay: Grandma's got this excellent thing...
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Current Music:Melt With You - whomevah
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Subject:LTOP Minutes 5/18 - The Cockblock Allstars
Time:09:56 am
In attendance: Ryan, Sarah Mc, Sarah C, Molly, Real Kelly, Jess

Ryan: I can't vote...West Wing is on.

Ryan: Tina Turner...she smuggles immigrants in her hair.

AxlRobot

Dirty Anton wipes his mouth pretending he just gave 'head'

Jukebox Fiasco

"What are Freemasons?"
"Creepy."

Real Kelly: Kelly is Crocodile Dundee?

Sarah Mc's dirty story:
Sarah McNally grabbed the sheath...it didn't come out all the way...you know on a good day it takes spit to get it off, at the ER they lube me up...

Sexcrement (Scat)

Missy is Bingo Master
Jess: Does she do it in the style of Cher? 'all the men come around...and lay their chips down...'

Molly: I want to sodomize and smoke!

Real Kelly: I served myself!

Molly: GIVE IT UP FOR HPV!!

Jess and Ryan should be Ike and Tina for Halloween
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Current Music:Sugar on my Tongue - Talkin Heads
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Subject:Minutes 5/07/2004
Time:07:32 am
Sarah C., Kelly, and Jess

Sarah C: One of them is bnamed Kim, I'll let you guess which.
Jess: Whoa. That was like...the warm washcloth of racism!

Jess: I think that girl is so attractive, but she's kind of mannish. And you know the guy is with the fance girl with the earrings and the hat. Don't you know a good mannish thing when you see one??? If I was president that would go on money.

Jess: If I had a band, it would be 'Drunk Mopey Dildo and His Fat Friend.'
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Current Music:I Wish it Would Rain - Phill Collins
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Subject:Minutes 5/04/04 - The Terri Garr Experience
Time:09:01 am
Current Mood:boredbored
Won Second Place!!

Sarah Mc: Really? Divinyls?

Kelly: I love the 'I'm guilty' cornrows.

Ryan: I read that if you're under gunfire, behind a car is like the worst place to find cover. Behind an animal though, that's supposed to work well. Like behind a donkey.
Sarah Mc: Or a Taun-Taun.

Pee Wee References:
* The indians call it 'maize'.
* I love that story!
* I say we scalp him, then tattoo him, then we hang him, then we kill him!
* I say we let him go!

Kelly: Sir, would you like to DO IT?

Jess To Sir...with PANTS!

Jess: It's the Hypercolor of the new millenium!

Jess thought Sarah C said: What's with the cervix spot on the brain?

Jess comments on Ryan's resemblance to Kevin Bacon in 'Footloose' and how he could do a one man show playing both Bacon and Lithgow...
Kelly adds: Get really mad and do a number on the paralell bars!

Kelly: Manifest DEFany!

Jess: Rape makes me sleepy.

Kelly: Yeah yeah...the coach from Hoosiers!
Jess: ...you mean Gene Hackman?

Jess: 'To Protect and Hamster-Style'

Ryan: Where's our prize, asshole!?
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Current Music:Ani Difranco - Shy
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Subject:Minutes for 4/15
Time:06:59 pm
In attendance: Sarah C, Kelly, Jessi

Sarah gets schooled by a nerd in a Ren and Stimpy shirt

Jessi finds a sickly man somewhat attractive:
Jessi: I either want to buy him a sammich or some AZT...I've got insurance.
Kelly: What kind of car do you drive? What's your T-cell count?

Sarah C: I gotta pee. Move it.

Kelly sings 'American Girl'
Kelly: 'Make it last all night!' That's my part of the song.

On Buffalo Bill:
"Would I fuck me? Wait! I am! And I'm exhausted.

The Universal-over-the-shoulder-anal-sex-glance

Kelly explains the disapproving look she often gives Jessi:
Kelly: I raised you better.

Jessi explains the difference between girls and boys:
Girls: I KNOW!!
Boys: How can I fix it?

Boy advice: You get a rabbit, you kill it, skin it, stew it.
Girl response: I don't want it to be in my court.
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Current Music:Tom Jones - Sex Bomb -Theme from Grosse Pointe
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Subject:Minutes for 4/13 "We Can't Come Up With Anything Witty...There's Nothing Funny About Hostages"
Time:06:52 pm
In attendance: Jessi, Sarah C, Kelly, Sarah Mc, Ryan, Chuck, and Teresa

Jessi compares Kelly's upbringing to her and Sarah's pristine ones:
Jessi: She smoked pot and munched box.

"Lefted"

Kelly:Did you know I was Chuck's boss?

It was decided unanimously that Easter Eve is the Spring Splooshstice

Kelly: I don't Anton and tell.

Jessi: Minutes, may I?

Jessi: Did she punch you in the vag more than usual?

Sarah C: I love vagina. I heart boobs.

Kelly: You would split them like dry oak.
Ryan: Split them like dry Oates?

There's a lot of ironicism in repeatedry in scrumtrilescence in strategery.

Sarah Mc: I can still hear you even though I'm drunk.

Ryan:Eleventy three.

Ryan: I didn't get a blow job...but then I killed a goblin.

Sarah Mc: By doing the dance?? What? How.

Ryan: Does it start with an 'S' or a 'zed'?

Kelly: I have a 10-88. You need to 10-9 for a 10-3. Go 10-8 and 10-9, 10-9, 10-9 until she is 10-7, then take a quick 10-10 and 10-9 until 0-dark-30. Clear.

Kelly: Did you just say jews?
Jessi: Yeah, Sarah's not here.

Jessi and Sarah harmonize to Levi 501 bluuuuuuuues

re: the Kiss dance in the "Lick it Up" video
Kelly: Its the angry jew walk...I've seen it before.

Ryan: In first place...people who haven't had sex in eight years...
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Current Music:Dirty Laundry - Worst.Song.Ever
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Subject:Minutes from 4/02/04 two for one action
Time:09:01 am
In attendance: Kelly, Sarah, Jessi, High Maintenance Molly

Kelly/Sarah combo: "I rue the day I'm in my own ass."

(All Sheryl Crow songs are about anal sex)
Jess: "..and by leaving las vegas, I mean my colon."

Jess: "My Little Ponies are whores."

Molly: "That's great."

Kelly tells the story of Gus, The Legend

Sweaty "Atkins" Pancakes

"If it makes Jessica happyyyyyyyyyy, Kelly will be that saaaaaaaad."

Kelly: "The shine off the metallic rods."

Jess: "Your psychological profile said you're attracted to danger...that became clear when you started DATING MY BEST FRIEND."

"Crusty...what?"

Molly: "You and Kelly are like the two muppets up in the balcony..."
Jess: "Did she just say jew muppets up in the balcony?"

Jess: "I hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight."

Jess: "I'm Pat Benetar, have you been?"

Billy Joel "Substitute the ivories for clitoris'."

Kelly: "Why don't we stop worrying about the duck, and get down."

WHAT THE FUCK, WAIFY??
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